My last post

ME

I started this blog a bit over a year ago, not knowing what would come out of it or exactly what my intention was. I did know that I had a big need to become visible. To share parts of myself that were well hidden and to allow myself to be vulnerable when bringing these things into the light. I feel like this has been a space where I have been able to do that and that makes me feel really happy and grateful.

Thank you so much for reading what I have shared here and for receiving me in my vulnerability. I hope I have been able to plant a few seeds in you as well, maybe even inspired someone to dare to show up in vulnerability too.

With that said, with a lot of excitement and curiosity about what is to come, I close this chapter and get ready to start a new one.

Much love!!, Leela

A natural child

ME

She is a blonde girl full of energy. She is full of excitement and curiosity. She likes to investigate things and to understand how things work. She has a caring and nurturing nature. She likes to be outside and in nature.

She likes the colors pink, purple, blue and green. She is very strong. She has a lot of energy that she likes to express through movement. She radiates love, light and innocence. She has the ability to light up a room.

She is content with just being by her self. She loves to just be silent and watch things. She is fascinated with the world and appreciates beauty.

She is very sensitive. She is connected with oneness and unconditional love. She is meditative. She is full of compassion. She likes to dance and has the ability to completely let go and be total. She is very attentive, receptive and open to her surroundings. She is sensual and playful.

She is determined, clear, strong and has the ability to forgive and persevere.

She is creative and she likes to express herself with colors. She is grounded and connected to nature. She likes trees. She has the ability to give and receive. She enjoys herself and she is present in life. She is intelligent and has the ability to understand the world around her.

She is full of love and she likes to share it. She has a sense of humor and she likes to laugh.

A letter to my inner child

ME

I will do anything for you

I know it is scary

I know everything seems to be hopeless

I am sorry I wasn’t there for you before

I am sorry you had to feel so lonely

I love you

There is no rush

It is okay if you need time

You can have anything and everything you want

It is also okay to not want anything at all

I am here when you want me to come closer

I am always watching over you

I know everything feels scary and impossible

That it is confusing

You will never have to be alone again

I am here now and I will never leave you

♥️

In deep gratitude

ART, ME, POETRY

What if you could be loved exactly like you are?

What if life was just waiting to give you more than you could ever imagine?

What if I told you I know it is true because it is happening to me….

To be allowed to be exactly like I am has set me free.

To realize that I am the only one who can give me permission to do so.

To see that I am held by the divine and its unconditional love, within and around me.

Having the freedom to do whatsoever I feel. To eat what I like, feel what I feel, express what I feel.

My body is becoming soft as my worries and complaints dissolve.

I am left with a deep sense of gratitude.

For myself. For the universe. For life.

A sense of completion as we are all one.

One creative energy, one living organism dancing together in perfect harmony.

Stepping into life

ART, ME, POETRY

I am saying yes to life
I am saying yes to myself exactly like I am
I know that I am perfectly right to be the way I am

I know that there is nothing wrong with any part of me
I know now that my experiences have shaped me

I know that I am free to love all of me
To care for the parts that still feel hurt and confused

I no longer want to reject certain parts of me
I no longer want to hide from truth

I want to see what is there
I want to care for the children inside with tender loving care
Give them anything and everything they need

I am saying yes to life
I am saying yes to joy
I am saying yes to being loved
I am saying yes to experiences and unfoldings

I want to create
I want to see who I am

I want to take part of life
I no longer want to be a bystander watching from the outside

It is time for me to step into life

Welcoming Osho as my master

ME, OSHO, POETRY

I have welcomed you as my master
In complete surrender I bow down and touch your feet
I am letting go, I am emptying myself
Coming home
Shedding layers

A movement of energy is happening
A whirling wind around me
Coming back to stillness and there is nothing left

Where am I and what is happening?
Surrendering once more

I love you and I will now move you
You are doing well keep going

A cosmic joke
A laugh and I come back

A sense of love in my heart an openness and a new vulnerability
Held by the energy field around me

My sensitivity is welcomed here
There is no need to suppress or deny it any longer
The time has come for me to start shining my light
To stop hiding in the shadows

To walk out in my aloneness like a mirror
Creating space for others to follow
Letting my light overflow

Guided and held by the universe
Everything I will need will be provided
There is nothing for me to do
No need to worry
Just be
Just unfold

Present in each moment
Moving spontaneously
Freely
Bravely

I encourage you to love to accept to flower
You are coming home my love
Welcome home

Ready to be me

ME, POETRY

I am ready
Here I am
Hold my hand and show me the way
Taking off my armour standing naked and exposed

I am shedding layers
Letting the fear wash away

Seeing it is my choice to choose joy and bliss, trust and love.
Ideas of who I should be falling apart

Cracking open and allowing the divinity of live to flow through
Saying thank you for the lessons I have learned
And asking for more love and light

I am ready to be me I am ready to be free

Burning all the bridges
Excitement, love, bliss and fear

Silent as I know there is nothing to be done
I am here

Good night my dear
You have nothing to fear

this is me … ❤

To Face our Fears

ME

When something hurts we have a choice. To hide, suppress and avoid or we can choose to evolve. To sit down and feel it. What is it and why am I so scared of feeling it?

I am starting to see that nothing is as scary as hiding from ourselves. When we hide from ourselves our home becomes a scary place, hostile and unsafe. Our body becomes our enemy and a split occurs. We need to step away from our body in order to stay safe. Our body mirrors us, it shows us what we feel and brings us back to our truth.

So when we split from our body we are free in a sense. Free from seeing what is actually there. But we are also cut off from our source. Cut off from the love, light and play that we are. We enter the world of the mind and life becomes flat. We need distractions and to constantly be stimulated in order to feel okay and stay blind to the fact that we are missing the essential qualities of life. It is scary.

The only way out is to choose to wake up, choose to open our eyes and see what is there. Sitting and feeling an uncomfortable feeling arising within, the choice to face it does not seem as scary anymore. Little by little we can face our fears. Each time seeing that we come out on the other side. Each time we have created more space for us to be. More space to breathe and love and dance.

These fears keep us boxed in, they keep us from seeing that we are capable of doing whatever we want. All is possible. These fears keep us small, they keep us obedient and chained in to the rules of society.

I am facing my fears everyday, each time choosing to stay, breathe and feel. I am starting to break out of the chains that have been holding me down. I am seeing that I have wings and I am learning how to fly. I am seeing that the world is available to me and that anything is possible. No one can stop me or hold me back besides myself.

Love, Leela

An open gate

ME, POETRY

As I write these poems I transform with every word coming through. There is a wisdom within all of us and I am finding it within me. An unlimited source of love and creative energy. Slowly slowly I am starting to trust myself and trust where I am guided. I wanted to find the answers outside, I wanted someone to give me a map and show me the way. I was scared of making mistakes. Learning by doing and allowing, I see that there are no mistakes. When the longing for ourselves surfaces it starts to guide us. Navigating us through life. Creating spaces and situations where we face what needs to be seen and healed. As trust arrises it becomes a dance, knowing that nothing lasts forever. With every wave of anguish space is created for even more joy and love. Empowered by knowing we have everything we need inside we are free. There are no longer rules to follow, no need so seek approval or to ask for permission. You are your own master and life becomes a play. The possibilities are infinite and the world is at your feet. Close your eyes and take a breath and everything you have been searching for you will find inside. I am not saying it is easy, we have been closed for so long conditioned not to love and trust ourselves. It is painful but on the other side of the pain is everything you have ever wanted.

Leaving all behind
Dying to what I was
Burning everything and rising from the ashes

I am stepping out of myself
Leaving my body behind
Standing at an open gate
Not knowing what is to come

Walking through the fires of pain
There is no time to hide anymore
Screaming and turning, wanting it to end

There is no space to hide behind pain anymore
There is a place for me on the other side and I am ready to take it
Ready to step up and take my place in the light

My gifts are needed and it is time
Not feeling ready wanting to hide
It is okay my dear there is still a little bit of time

Knowing I can hold myself and take responsibility for what is mine

What should I do? What should I do?
And I surrender

Tossing and turning
Shifting and evolving

This is it my dear you are here

Complete surrender there is no need to fight
Utter surrender and you will see the light

Healing is happening frequency is rising
Entering into a new chapter starting on a blank page
It is not a doing anymore but a happening

Open and receiving as the universe works through me
Leaving doubt behind and trusting in life

A beautiful unfolding
A dance a play a song
A flower opening its wings allowing love to flow in

My heart beating and warmth spreading in my body

Slowly coming back but I come back as something new
The innocence of a child

In a new world seeing the world for the first time
Held by the earth and the mother within
Stroked and embraced welcomed into this world

Loved by existence and held from within
There is nothing to do all is okay.

Love, Leela