A Gentle Let-Go

POETRY

My heart is aching again
An empty hole sucking in every bit of light and joy

Grieving my past as I slowly open up
Layer after layer

Feeling it all through
Looking again and again, letting it all wash away

Fear of the unknown, even if the unknown is JOY

Pacing myself. There is no rush

Again and again coming back to the now and remembering that it is in my hands now
I can allow anything and be as gentle and loving as I can and want.

Frozen spring

POETRY

Everything becomes so cold all of a sudden

I do not know where to go

I cannot move I cannot talk

It is like everything has frozen to ice

A storm is inside

A storm that cannot be released

A storm that could not be released

But now what?

The storm is over and it is a sunny day in the end of May but I am still cold

How do you move on after something like this?

How do you survive?

Taking myself by the hand

POETRY

One can hide so much inside
I can see how the story of Alice in Wonderland came to life

I am swimming in my own unconscious mind
I am knee deep in the dark twistedness of my mind

Memories coming to the surface
Unfolding
Uncovering the truth of what happened to me as a child

Luckily there is an adult here to care for me now

I need to step in as my own care-taker
my own best friend
my own mother
my own father
my own sister
my own saviour

The unconditional love I have for myself cannot be replaced by anyone else.


Credit to the artist on insta @carrececile ✨

Please Take Me Home

POETRY

To face oneself might be one of the most excruciating things one can do…

…and still there is no question in my heart.

We are brought up to put ourselves down. To shame ourselves for who we are, for our desires, our longings, our wounds, our needs.

We are brought up in an unnatural society and to start becoming natural again is not always easy. It is scary and painful, uncertain and many people around will not be able to understand.

But I am longing to come home.

I am longing for myself.

For my own being, my own love, my own light.

Osho …. at home in himself …

A natural child

ME

She is a blonde girl full of energy. She is full of excitement and curiosity. She likes to investigate things and to understand how things work. She has a caring and nurturing nature. She likes to be outside and in nature.

She likes the colors pink, purple, blue and green. She is very strong. She has a lot of energy that she likes to express through movement. She radiates love, light and innocence. She has the ability to light up a room.

She is content with just being by her self. She loves to just be silent and watch things. She is fascinated with the world and appreciates beauty.

She is very sensitive. She is connected with oneness and unconditional love. She is meditative. She is full of compassion. She likes to dance and has the ability to completely let go and be total. She is very attentive, receptive and open to her surroundings. She is sensual and playful.

She is determined, clear, strong and has the ability to forgive and persevere.

She is creative and she likes to express herself with colors. She is grounded and connected to nature. She likes trees. She has the ability to give and receive. She enjoys herself and she is present in life. She is intelligent and has the ability to understand the world around her.

She is full of love and she likes to share it. She has a sense of humor and she likes to laugh.

To help yourself

POETRY

A wave of anguish and fear

A storm of emotions

A flashback

I am here present, yet not really

I am reliving something through my body and I can not make it stop

I try my best to come back, to feel safe again, calm, at home in my bed

But the nightmare continues

I want to wake up

Please Anna wake up

I am safe here

You are not alone

I hear someone talking to me. But I can not listen. It is too late

Help!!

I know someone is there

I know that she is keeping me safe

Yet it feels like I am about to die

I know this is not happening now

I can breathe through this

Let the emotions have their space and then move through

I can let them burn out

I am safe

I am here

I am okay

I am seen

I am loved

Everything is okay

One breath at a time

Slowly slowly coming back

Back to my body

Back to the present moment

Breathing into pain

POETRY

The pain of transformation is ripping my body apart

Everything I thought was me is falling away

I can rest in the center of the storm

Knowing an opening is happening

Neither falling apart nor fighting it

Simply staying present and feeling it

Feeling everything I could not feel as a child

Holding my little girl in my arms and feeling it with her

It all becomes clear

I can see the record that has been playing before my eyes

Falling in the unknown

Everything is spinning

I am still present still here still feeling it

What if I can actually be free?

What would happen?

What would I do?

I can give my little girl everything she ever wanted

I am not alone because I have me

I will never leave my side

It is okay my love

You are going to be okay

You will se